Welcome to our Zoo

The entire premise of this blog is to capture many of the things that are said in our house that probably aren't uttered in yours.

We have two boys, ages 7 and 3 at this time. We'll call them "Ham" and "Cheese", respectively. Most of these statements, not surprisingly, are said to the three-year old. All of them are actual statements, either direct quotes or paraphrases - after all, we're not often in a position to write these down when they are said.

Let's get started...

"Please get the tomato out of the cocoa"
- While the boys were served cocoa after time outside.


"Don't squeeze the lemon into the sugar bowl"
- General kitchen "assistance" from Cheese


"The front steps are not for sledding"
- While Cheese was trying to sled down them

"Look at the globe with your eyes and not your bottom"
- As Cheese finished his bath, took off nude through the upstairs and started toting the globe around. When asked what he was doing, he responded "I'm looking at it" while he was actually sitting on it. Naked.

"Don't build a potty in the fort"
- Playing fort

Principal: "Little boy, we don't run in my school"
Three-year old: "Yes we do, because I've got to play"
- While mommy and Cheese were at Ham's school

Mommy: "Uh, oh, you pooped your pants, did you wash your hands?"
Cheese: "I didn't need to. The poop is all gone"
Mommy: "Where did it go?"
Cheese: "I didn't need to wash my hands because only two fingers touched the poop when I put it in the potty."
- Self-explanatory.